I am a bad blogger

So I know I am a bad blogger but it dosnt really matter because I only have my two faithful followers anyhow and one of them almost always knows whats going on without me writing. I only use this for a chance to get things off my chest and attempt to make myself feel better. Usually though it dosnt work. Anyhow
I just feel as though I am becoming alone again. It seems as though everyone has someone or something and here I am AGAIN alone. I am always alone. People dont understand how hard things are. Nobody does. Not even my triangle or my family. I am running out of things to find to make myself happy. The only thing that works anymore is Mackenzie. I know people are there for me however I just still feel alone. I have really thought about going to therapy again just for the simple fact that I am driving myself crazy!!! I hate the thought of it but at the same time I dont know what else to do. And I have to do something about it because I have my daughter whom I have to raise on my own and I have to be the strong one and teach her the ways of the world. I just need something that makes me feel like I am worth wild.
I know this is all jumbled up but ugh im just lost.

Way off track lets just say

I was doing soo good them BAM I got way off track of being online. Mackenzie and I have been busy. We went to the circus, two trips of trick of treating, and we are currently planning a trip to FL. We are going to Disney on our trip to FL which will be at the end of December. So that is exciting but now taking up alot of our time trying to plan. I think we are also going to go to Sea World while we are there. I think even though this trip will be alot of work Mackenzie will really enjoy it.
Also Mackenzie has a new found love in ELMO! Everywhere we go she spots ELMO somewhere and then screams until she gets to see it.
Another exciting thing. I am really going to try and dive way deep into my business as in the 2009 business year I have a chance to earn a free trip to Disney in 2010 for 4! I think that would be a great trip for Mackenzie and I to go on when she is a bit older. Also by then I think Andi, Mike, and Baby D will be up for going again lol. So if you know anyone who shops Pampered Chef, or would like to check out a great business opportunity let me know!

18 months!

27 months ago I was a completely different person, young and unresponsible. Then I found out I was pregnant, and my babys father took off. My life changed fast!Luckily I have two of the best friends ever! They have become my family. Actually the three of us have become the "triangle". We have 3 points which stand for the 3 of us and we are always there for eachother. Even when we dont talk every day we all know that we are here if needed. And I am so thankful for everything that my to points did for me during my pregnancy. They truely were the greatest!Then came the day that I became a mommy! What a wonderful day!! My daughter will always be 22 years and 1 week younger then me. It will be so nice to spend our birthdays so cosesly together every year!

Here she is at 12 days old, she had already grown so much!
Before I knew it she was 6 months old! Boy how time flys. She had her own personality and was showing more and more of it every day.
In the blink of an eye she was a year old! Where had a whole year gone? She was walking, talking, eating real food and just being the best baby ever! Her father still was not a part of her life but who needs him anyhow.
Now she is 18 months old on sweetest day! She is my one and only sweetie. She is so smart, saying over 50 words and signing at least 20. She is such a big girl now. I cant even believe time has went by so fast! I guess all I can say is "Don't Blink"!

*I love my baby girl more then anything in this world, Happy 18 months*

Update since im a bad blogger

So I know I have not posted in awhile but I have been without internet and way busy! So yeah.....let's just start with the bad and we will get right into the good to make you all feel warm and fuzzy inside at the end lol.
So the bad-
Well that challenge I had for Pampered Chef (3 contacts a day 7 days a week for 3 months).....I've already failed. I forgot to make my call on Sunday night which now means I am out of the challenge. So Boo for that.
However that dosnt mean I still cant try it. It means that I am not in the running for gas cards =(

Moving past it though

On Thursday I got to spend time with one of my best's and a good friend of both of ours. So that was nice. Also I think each time I see Andi I get more and more excited for her and the hubs to see that they are going to have a little bundle of joy soon (ok not soon but in like 5 months and 4 weeks and some days lol) Which the baby is also due on my birthday! WOOHOO

Friday I went to stay with my aunt for the weekend which is nice because I don't get to see her anymore. I stayed with her until this am. So it was actually really nice.

Saturday I went shopping for miss Mackenzie and got her the cutest outfit for her pictures on Sunday. Then we went to Ramseyer's Farm.

Took Some Cool Pictures!


It was alot of fun. Unfortunatly Mackenzie is still to little to do everything there but she had alot of fun.
Sunday I went with Karla and Kloe to get pictures done at Sears. The girls looked super cute. I will add pictures when I get them on here tomorrow. They had alot of fun too and that is nice that the girls like eachother so much and have a great time when they play together.It's also nice to have another mom friend, esp a single mom friend. No offense to my other friends but it is really nice to talk with someone who knows where you are coming from and knows how every day life is as a single mom.

Monday nothing special really happened other then finding Mackenzie halloween costume FINALLY that kis is only going to be 18 months and had to get a frikkin 3T-4T for her costume! Ugh what a chunk....but shes my chunk and I love her for it.


Today is Tuesday and it is exciting that I got my Help Whip Cancer Fleece today!

It is super cute too! I cant wait to wear it. I also got Mackenzie a t-shirt that is red and says Pampered Chef on it. Also about my business I am offering to anyone who books a show, keeps the date, and qualifies as a show I am giving a $20.00 gas card. So please pass the word on. I am also having a kids cooking party on October 24th. Kids of all ages are invited.

I really hope that this week is going to be a good one just because I need it.....I hope everyone who reads this is having a great week!

Skipping thankful Tuesdays!

Alright so I felt I should skip this weeks thought to be thankful. Instead I am going to just do a little update on the past few days.

Saturday morning Mackenzie and I were just sitting down to eat breakfast when the doorbell rang. Now mind you it is like 8am and the doorbell does not ring that early EVER at our house. So I run to the door and I see this kid dashing away from the door and running to a SUV. Now im kinda like wtf. But he yells to me he will be right back. I am thinking is this the mystery paper boy I've never seen before? But no it is not. He appears with a flower box. I automatically get teary eyed at the thought of someone sending me roses. So i get the card out and it is from my mom saying "I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you". The waterworks are now flowing. I dont know why but I always cry when I get flowers....But it was a beautiful thing to have done. Especially seeing as Mackenzie was sick and I was just feeling pretty blah. But That was my good thing for the weekend.
Next the bad
So I went to work yesterday and of course it was an inservice day. An Inservice day means we do work within out rooms or agency and have no clients. Well on this in service day I had to go to another agency for a meeting on MUI's where I realized I should probally write a whole lot more then I already do. Anyhow, I then came back went to lunch with like 15 of my co-workers which was kinda nice since half the time I think they dont even know who I am. Then returned back to work just to head to a focus group to talk about how we can make the workplace better. Yadda Yadda Yadda. I was an annoying 2 hours do to the people I was placed with.

So after work I went to my Pampered Chef meeting. Apparently I looked like death/hell had taken over my body as everyone kept asking me if I was okay and if I wanted to just go home. I said no it had just been a long day and a long weekend. So we did our usually learn new things, play a game. Only this time when it came time to play the game I actually knew some of the answers! I got 3 out of 4 right! Hot dang I may actually be learning something in this bussiness of mine. I also learned about this new "challenge". I have to make 3 new contacts a day for days a week for 3 months! I hope I can do this. I really want to improve this business. How nice would it be to be able to get this business going so nicely that I wouldnt have to have a "real" job. THere are ladies who make 3,000 a month selling pampered chef! I just cant even believe it!

So on my way home from the meeting I thought let's do something nice for my mom. So I went and got her some churches chicken. YUM. I dropped it off to her and as I was heading to the Y bridge my muffler fell off the body of mycar and is now DRAGGINGthe whole exhause pipe off. So I pull into the next parking lot I can find. I call my mom and my phone dies! ARE YOU KIDDING i screamed. Lucikily a security gaurd was there and helped me and let me use his phone to call my mom. So now Idk what I am going to do about my car.

So ya....thats all I have time for now since its a half hour til work and Mackenzie and i arnt ready

What a Weekend

So I knew it was going to happen. Mackenzie is sick. I knew prob Thursday morning that it would be full blow by today. Last night she was very clingy, hard time falling asleep, cough, runny nose. You name all the common cold symptoms she had them. So Saturday morning we head to the Dr.'s only to hear she has congestion and they are shocked that it isnt in her chest or ears however it could move there so to beware. Her appointment was at 9:30am. By 9:00pm her heart is beating so fast that if i didnt know better I would think it is going to beat directly out of her chest. So we head to the fire station to have her checked out. Pulse ox of 96 and heartrate of 156. All within normal limits they tell me. So we go home and she is very restless so we "play" in bed for about an hour and a half drink lots of fluids and finally we both fall asleep around midnight. 12:30am she wakes me having trouble breathing. So I call the nurse and she tells me to do a steam room in the bathroom. So we did that and here we are at almost 1:30am. I am so tired but im so afraid that she is going to have trouble breathing again. Her respirations do sound little better however I am a worrier and I will probally be up all night just watching her sleep. Ugh. How I love to be a mother but at this moment would give anything for her to have a father in her life to help me get through the night. So here's to hoping we have a ER free night!
4am back up having trouble breathing. Back to the steam room. Still no fever. However she's already sleeping much better. Lets hope we dont do this again or else it will be to the ER.

Thankful Tuesdays!

So tonight I am thankful that I have family who loves me. I have had a rough weekend and just was over it. But my family was there to say we will do anything we need to do to help whatever you need. I know I have not given details to my "crash" however they were not the best things to crash over.
Also I know that I am crashing over stupid little things because so many other people have so many more things that are millions of times worse then anything I go through. So I am thankful for that also.

I know this is short but......I keep waiting until im too tired and cannot process things.

Oh ya- on a good note. I got my certificate today for my 30 hours class. The lady also said it should be back in time for me to not be suspended at work. So yeah for another thankful thing!